Ugh i screwed up again

I know it sounds stupid but sometimes it's a little hard to manage my time with my boyfriend and my friends... Ok WOW that sounded even stupider than I thought it would! Oh NO! Well ugh my friends keep pointing it out to me but it doesn't really help when he is one of my best friends to... so yeah... And like I really had to talk to one of my friends about something just now but he called cause we had to discuss something really important. The thing is that friend had to go soon but I couldn't just hang up on him in the middle of that conversation, and then he had to go so I called her but in like 2 seconds she had to go and probably can't talk for the rest of the day. Yeah I know what you're thinking - maybe I shouldn't have a boyfriend cause I need to grow up some more. No I don't really agree with that - I just needed a new entery and I just blog on here when something frustrating happens. Or something good. But this is what I currently find frustrating. Bleh. LOL.

Sometimes crap happens.

So we went on a field trip with the German class to chicago. It was prett fun except for the train ride back.. I had my hand on my bf's leg and a teacher yelled at us and i started to cry and he left the train cart to another one.. Then some kid was walking up and down the seat rows saying, "Did Mike just get dumped or something?". He was laughing.

Mike never came back so Grace went to get him and she didnt come back so i had Kenneth go get them, and when that friend didnt come back, i went after them. I met them about half way there cause they were coming back, and they told me he is really sad and i need to talk to him. Except he wasnt talking to me because he said that he needed time to think. So i left but as i was leaving i turned around and ran back after him, grabbed his arm and tried to pull him out of his chair and drag him back but he stood up and didnt say anything and wouldnt come with me. I felt so mad.
WE didnt break up but it felt as if he dumped me right there, cause i didnt know why he would act like that. I seriously felt like shoving him, but i didnt. I just ran out of the cart crying. As i was trying to get out of the cart i heard people going "OH MY GOD OH MY GOD DID YOU SEE THEM??!". I didnt think that they were talking about what just happened to me, but then some guy stopped me and said,
"Anna did you and Mike break up?!"
"No!!!"
"Are you sure? Cause you just had your hand in his pants about 5 minutes ago!"
"SHUT UP!!!" I shoved him really hard as best as i could cause there was a small crowd of people surrounding us in that little compartment between the two carts. I started to cry even harder and ran back into my school's cart... People were staring at me and i heard someone saying that i broke up with him and just crap like that.
When i got back to my seat some people crowded me saying that the guy that told everyone i had my hand in Mike's pants is just an asshole and a retard. It was nice to hear that. Then i had Zoe go get Mike cause i needed to talk to him and he HAD to come back. So she dragged him back and the crowd of people left. I sat him down in the seat across from me and then hugged him. Right then a teacher ran over and screamed,
"YOU STAY OFF OF HIM!!! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?! i know you're sad but STAY OFF OF HIM! and you dont touch her!!!!!!"
So i told him im going back up to the food cart and he should come after me so we could talk. Apparently every time im with him i get in trouble which isnt true. Its the teachers that were really.... ununderstanding i guess.... Then the food compartment was closed cause some students were having a very tense game of B.S. and so everyone got throw out. Then we all just sat in silence trying to cheer ourselves up. Except Zoe said that when she was going to go get him she heard broken bits of conversations including "Mike", "fucked", "her", and "up". I guess you can pience that together yourseld. Zoe had a really bad headache, Grace got in a fight with Eva and something else so she was also sad, and everyone else was just quiet.
The next day some people came up to mike saying, "I heard you and your girlfriend broke up and got back together on the train!"... I dont think that person even WAS in the german class. I think it's all okay now but rumors like that (and worse) about me and him are going around the school a lot sometimes except i dont know how much and about what cause they only reach me after they reach a friend, Mike's mom, someone tells it to my face, or i hear someone say that (whic so far i hadnt)...

Russia vs. Spain 0:3 - crap.

The Russian soccer team really sucked up until this year. They got a new trainer i don't remember who and they did really well and made it into semi-finals. Too bad we couldn't get past Spain - we already lost to them once although it didn't get us kicked out of the tournament. The weather wasn't so good either - it was raining that whole time. So the game ended 0:3 - better luck next time and good luck to Germany and Spain (preferably Germany) in the final game.

What's going on?! D=

Ok this is really not cool. I'm not trying to act like something im not... It just sorta comes out that way automatically... I'm trying to make my life seem more..... idk like i'm actually someone. While hanging out with Aliss and her friends we were like talking about ruining certain ppls lives and stuff.... And how like ... idk how to put it in words really. Like now i always try to keep my room at least somewhat neat looking, and i like having pretty clothes (even if its like emoish looking which is the kind of style i like) and just looking good myself. Then the way my friends and i talk about things like what we are gonna do later and just things like that makes it sound like im turning into a what is nowday called "prep" if we're talking stereotypically. And im talking about not like buying the stereotypical hollister and abercrombie and fitch clothing but kind of the way im starting to act maybe? Oh i know how to describe my behavior lately - Bitchy.....slutty...? something like that... =( its not like im trying to act that way its just the way everything comes out. So im kinda confused....

Today

Today is my best friend's birthday. So Erin/Aliss, Happy Birthday!Altho i'm going to her house tomorrow i can still update the blog and everything because im coming back around 1.. so yeah... I never have any deep thoughts to put into my blog. i dont know why. i only get really deep things when im in a conversation with someone, so the teenagers blog that i posted yesterday were copied parts of a conversation with one of my friends. Hmm. I guess i can make a blog about me not being able to make blogs about deep things unless I'm talking to someone. I guess the reason that I'm like that is that i need the other person to take some part in it too not like i'm talking to no one. That i actually need someone to sit there and hear me out. And usually support me and back me up on my thoughts. I guess i find it easier that way, plua uaually something in our conversation triggers my mind and sets it off to talk about something, and the only way i can still support the flow of my thoughts if i keep the conversation going.

Here is a quick thing about my blogs. It's not only so people/friends could read them (which i doubt they do), but so i could record my thoughts and then read over them later. Well i bet you're thinking " Isn't that's what a diary is for?" well a diary is more like recording your private thoughts, and sometimes i still hope that maybe someone reads these things, plus i don't write anything really personal in here.

What Teenagers we are

i feel like i'm such a classic teenager
just another teenage girl
and i want to do something that others dont do
like as lame as this sounds
i think i would feel better
if i had some sort of super top secret spy like mission O.o that i had something other to do

than u know the general teenage stuff that makes life seem so lame and like i'm so pathetic
just like when u sit here
doing your nails

while chatting on AIM and updating your facebook or blog
and talking on the phone about the party you are going to tomorrow with your riends on a threeway
and what you are going to wear
and everything
while i know that there are bigger and more important things in life
like the government could be meeting with alien forces from outerspace discussing a canceled operation
or discussing the future of our planet
while i am just sitting here helpless pathetic and unsuspecting while other major things that im clueless about are going on

so it makes me feel so stupid

i feel dissapointed
because of a reason i can't explain
its one of those things

where let's say you think something is so awesome
or you think you are so unique and special because of your interests and how your life is turning out
but then you get on the internet
and lets say you watch a video by a band you like
and then you read the comments that say things like
"OH MY GOD I LOOOOOOOOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH THIS BAND ROCKS!"

and you dont feel so unique anymore because now you know other people like it too and feel the same way
so you are just like others

and then like you wear a shirt you really like
and come to school

and see a whole different person with a whole different life
that you dont even know
is wearing the same shirt

hanging out with their friends and everything and experiencing things you experience
and you dont feel so unique anymore
you know you have your own thoughts and feelings yet that doesnt make you so special

there are millions of people like you out there so it feels like you dont count

and so life doesnt seem all that exciting anymore

First Entry

I'm happy today. It's summer, I made my site and pretty much finished most of it (www.freewebs.com/uncalledfor08), going to a friend's house tomorrow for some party, and now I just made a blog. Exciting huh? Ok not so much to you but it keeps me pretty statisfied - knowing how I'm usually in a half depressed state =/ So yeah. I'm just going to be posting things about my life here. Not too detailed so that anyone who bothers to read this could track me down and stalk me but you know what I mean.

Here is just some things about me:
I can be deep and I can be pretty pointless. If I get hooked on something it's kinda hard to stop me from doing that. Once I start talking about something I can go on about it for hours and hours up to the point where I bore you to death but not myself of course. I can talk about a sertain topic for quite a while, bringing up all sorts of different examples over and over and over just to prove a point (even if I already proved it). To sum it all up I'm pretty annoying O_O"

And yeah I admit it too and can't/won't stop and that's the sad part.